Ear to Ear

Since visiting St. Petersburg, where smiles were to be found on a 3:3 ratio (3 smiles in 3 days), extracting smiles from locals has become a crusade. It got easier as we headed east across Russia. Then in Mongolia, the local herdsman would stare at us first, but we showed our pearly whites to them and eventually they showed us theirs. Here in China, a child watching our train pull away from the station erupted in a grin from only a wave.

The Chinese are friendly and everyone that we've started conversations with has shown off their teeth in a smile. Their teeth are often stained brown or rotten, and some we wish we hadn't seen (the breath that gushes at us can match the color), but seeing happy faces is always a pleasure. They help breakdown the language barrier - if we're all laughing while trying to understand each other, we're not as frustrated. And smiles make bargaining at the markets a whole lot easier. John has found that if he can get their lips to curve up, the prices often turn down.

Here's an example of a recent exchange:

In Xi'an we were shopping for souvenirs. The most over used word in China: hello, was yelled at us from every man, woman, and child who had something to sell. We walked by the stands and the attendants, swirling their fingers on the glass in boredom, or playing with a deck of cards hopped to attention. "Hello, please come looking."

"Hello, please looking," brought us into one shop that sold painting. Two sisters were doing the selling and they quoted a ridiculously high price. We shook our heads and diverted our eyes like we were no longer interested. The price instantly dropped by half and we casually, showing only mild interest, looked back at the item.

"This good price," one of the salesgirls said. And that's when John swung into action. He was working on getting that first smile.

"Good for you yes. Not good for us," John said.

The salesgirl was right on queue quoting the bargaining mantra, "Ok, yousay, yousay," she sung. The words were all slurred together as one.

"No, yousay," John said. "You're the seller. You give me your rock bottom price?"

It was like two kids who wanted to get in the last word; "No, yousay, yousay," she said again pushing John the calculator. "You're suppose to make offer now."

"No, no, no, yousay."

"no, yousay."

We started to see the start of a smile. "These paintings are really good. are you the artist?" John asked. This of course brought on the full smile.

"No," the girl said bashfully. "My sister's husband is painter. I just work in store."

John talked with the girl for awhile, asking about her age, where she learned English. Then he asked, "How many paintings have you sold today? None? Then we would be your first customers? That's good luck. You can give a better price to your first customers can't you?" The price crept down a bit more, her smile got bigger.

"No, that's still too high," John went on. "Ok, tell ya what. You tell me how much YOU would pay for this painting." This brought on a wave of giggles from both girls.

"That's not the way to do it," they said.

Eventually the price dropped lower and the salesgirl told us that there is no way she could possibly go any lower; she would lose money if she did. She offered the calculator to John one last time."Ok, now yousay."

"So you can go lower," John said.

The girl started laughing. "You good at this," she said.

John, for the first time, quoted a price. "It's a very good price," John said.

"Good for you!" The salesgirl said and winked.

There were a few more "yousay, yousay" exchanges and finally, "Yes. Ok, Ok, only for you."

We left that store with a beautiful painting, a handshake and an enormous smile.

Too Many Smiles

Now that we had learned how to extract smiles we sometimes find that we get too many of them. (Could this be possible?)

China is a country of so many people that crowds are inevitable. We try to escape them but we only have to do the simplest things and a mob seems to grow up, rising like a strangling week, around us.

If we try to order from an all Chinese menu, for example, all the restaurant help will gather to help in the interpretation. "This one, this one," they all say in Chinese while pointing to characters and flipping through the plastic encased menu pages. One waitress even pulled me by the arm into the kitchen to point to what I wanted. Everyone there stopped what they were doing when I entered. Who of them could possibly resist the temptation to help me with this perplexing decision.

If we ask directions of someone on the street, invariably all of China will want to answer (differently of course). Like the camels we saw gathering at the watering hole in Mongolia, the Chinese seem to sense indecision and appear - gliding up on bicycles, planting their feet in sudden stops on motorbikes, or caught by the excitement of the question while walking by - as if drawn by a magnet.

In Pingyao, I agreed to a foot massage by the local masseuse. Big American feet was an instant draw card. Children came up to me shyly. "Hello," they called and then quickly ran away giggling. They brought their friends back and more friends. They settled in - heads propped on hands, elbows propped on knees - to watch.

A scorpion crawling across our bed sheets one night drew a crowd too. People rushed in like adrenaline. There was sheer panic on the part of the Chinese, but it didn't fail to gather them round.

All I really need to do though, if I feel alone here in China, is to write this all down in my notebook while sipping a cup of green tea. Whatever I'm doing (I'm a foreigner after all) it must be fascinating.