The Bus Game

We were victims of the bus game today. We wanted to get from Probolinggo in East Java to Solo in Central Java. Our earlier bus rides in Indonesia should have prepared us, but you can never be completely prepared for a game that has no rules. Everyone and anyone, no matter how unqualified, can play the lead part of the driver and that's what makes this game so exciting.

The game begins at a ticket office, one ever so carefully selected by the van driver who drops you off. (After all, he is entitled to his kick-back like everyone else.) There, a young man eagerly assists you, recommending the right bus to meet your requirements. Air-conditioned bus?, VIP bus?, not a problem. Fork over the dough and you're ready to play.

Your first move is by mini-van away from the ticket office to another down the road. There you wait while a wad of money exchanges hands, (ticket men get kick-backs too - fair is fair).

Then on to move two. You are shuffled on foot to the middle of a street to be pushed onto the first bus that pulls up behind you. Remember this game has no rules, so whether you paid the ticket man 18,000 RP, 25,000 RP or a mere 6000 RP, everyone climbs on board the same bus. A bus boy (for lack of a better word) rushes you on, tossing your bags ahead of you yelling, "Hurry, hurry." These words signal that the game is finally under way; the hustle has begun.

This signals the shift into high gear. The bus revs up and bolts into traffic. Get ready for action. Don't worry about the accident five cars ahead of you; your driver will ride the median line and skirt around it. Never mind that the rest of the traffic is at a dead standstill and you are twice as wide. Road construction ahead? Rest easy, this game leaves plenty of room to ride the wall of the ditch. Remember, at anytime there may be the opportunity to overtake so hang on to your seats. On-coming traffic is never a deterrent; your bus is equipped with the all purpose air horn.

The continuous and relentless use of the air horn is an important game feature. It is a symbol that your driver is all-powerful and can drive on water if need be to skirt around those unsightly traffic lines. The winners of the small games of chicken that break out everywhere are almost always based on horn control. One bus we blew by was tipped on it's side in a ditch, an obvious loser. "Chicken," I yelled as we passed.

If you play the bus game, and are as lucky as we were, you'll get an idiot behind the wheel. This of course spikes the adrenaline. Grins pinned to our face, we were subject to neck-numbing jolts; our fearless driver making sharp quarter-turns with the steering wheel. He pulled on and off the yellow median line with pulsing accelerator jabs. It didn't matter that he had twenty feet of metal swaying behind him like a resonating bridge; if there was an opportunity to pass, he'd be ready.

The bus game is guaranteed to be at least eight endless hours of fun. You and your teammates may want to place side bets, such as when you think the driver will pull over for a toilet break. It's unlikely, but maybe someone on the other team won't know that.

Yes you could try to sleep, yes you could watch the violent video playing on the TV screen in the front of the bus, but with so much excitement happening all around you, why bother?